Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

Commandment #5 of the 10 Commandments says we are to honor our father and mother, a commandment with a beautiful promise of long life and for things to go well in the land God has given us. 

My parents are both in Heaven now, when they were alive I struggled with how to fulfill this commandment, obey God, while being completely honest and sincere in my honoring. 

My parents were raised by extended family, Daddy called it living “pillar to post”. Daddy was shuttled around, his bedroom was a nook somewhere in a house, he was the outsider at Christmas and birthdays. My mother was raised by her grandmother and bachelor uncle. My parents had working mothers, they found employment in larger cities. Transportation for a visit was a bus, and rare. 

I believe both my parents had a desire to give their children a permanent roof, never to be farmed out or raised by extended family.  If this was their goal, well done! 

They took the most negative aspects of their childhood and were determine that our lives would be lived under a stable roof, even after they divorced, our physical home was secure. 

They didn’t factor that a roof wasn’t enough, my parents were as disconnected from us as their working mothers were disconnected from them. 

I determined when I had children, we would be connected … family dinners, communicating, volunteering in their church youth group,  “one on one” trips to the grocery and shopping, keeping tabs on their activities, house rules and birthday celebrations. 

These were the things I wanted from my parents … but, were these what my kids needed? 

I believe God added the promise of a prolonged life and things going well for us, because honestly … honoring our parents isn’t easy for everyone.  Even though we may not make our parent’s mistakes, we make other mistakes, things we didn’t even realize were hurtful or harmful to their young hearts and minds. 

When I finally came to realize that my parents truly loved me, and sacrificed to give me what they believed was best, I began to honestly and sincerely honor and love them.